Know what you want to say
It’s always best to go into a conversation prepared about your outcome, so you can remind yourself of your outcome during the conversation, and not get side tracked.
It’s also useful to be able to discuss a specific action, without judgemental words attached (as this will send the other person into a tail spin. Prepare this behavioural statement in advance.
Manage your mindset
What’s going on inside us - our stories, feelings, fears, values and beliefs drive our actions. So harnessing these will help you get the outcomes you want. Take a moment to think about these, focus on your intention, and ask yourself what more neutral or factual story will lead to a better outcome.
Mindfulness helps you prepare and stay neutral - this research shows just 7 minutes a day positively impacts your relationships at work, as well as your stress levels.
Kim Scott’s Radical Candour model helps you stay neutral and care at the same time. You can find her TED talks, podcast or see her book and model via her website.
On top of this, knowing what sends you into a threat state (ask yourself about David Rock’s SCARF model) let’s you prepare and plan for that, so you don’t head straight into it.
Actions
If you want to find out more, there are great tools, here are a few:
Know yourself. Here’s a quiz from Crucial conversations that’s useful
https://cruciallearning.com/style-under-stress-assessment/Upskill yourself. google and learn. Here’s a great article on the power of how and what as useful questions.
Practice - with a friend, buddy, coach (like me) or mentor.
Be grateful to yourself for being willing to step up and have these conversations, you’ll change the world, one conversation at a time. It was great to meet you, have fun!